breakfast

donuts are the new cupcakes.

in ,
stefani @ doughnut plant

love to magnolia,
love to crumbs,
love to sprinkles,

and love to every single one of the 
thousand million glamourous cupcake bloggers 
{and their headbands that match the color of the frosting}

but,
in a world where outer beauty matters all too often,

it's time for the 
underrated
overachieving
plump 
goofy kid to shine.

traditional donut @ bombolini

i know,
it's our natural instinct to suppress it,
seeing as how they are about a thousand times worse for you than a piece of cake,
but in this era of shamelessness, 
there's no better time than now to embrace the fact that

everything
is
better
fried.

@bombolini

it's true.

it's no coincidence
opened kitty-corner to magnolia on the upper west side,

serving pb&j sammiches on donuts
opened a stone's throw from kyotofu

the same year that april decided to serve
ciabatta donuts at her new baby,

 the same year that
opened with bombolini on the menu


it's even rumored that
serves donuts.



apple cider donuts @ the 65th street farmers' market

anyways, 
enough beating round the bush,
here are reasons why donuts prevail:

1. like i said, everything is better fried... and that should be reason enough.

2. variety
yeasty, cakey, frosted, powdered, glazed, 
jelly-filled, creme-filled, square, round, hole, 
no hole, long and skinny...
ciabatta?!  #aprilbloomfieldisSUCHapimp

3. you don't have to let them cool before glazing them
when have you ever been served a warm cupcake with the frosting still in tact?
contrary wise, how often is the krispy kreme hot-now sign on?

4. they cost less moneys.
why buy a magnolia cupcake for over two dollars 
when you could go across the street to bombolini 
and buy a warm pistachio donut for $1.09?

5. they make excellent photo shoot props.

the traditional specs
w/ ciabatta donuts @ the breslin
the smiley face
above: of maria w/ an apple cider donut at the 65th street farmers' market
below: w/ blackout at doughnut plant
the mustache 
the i'm-a-man-and-i'm-not-sacrificing-my-masculinity-by-posing-with-a-cupcake-but-instead-i-am-cool-for-posing-with-something-doubly-as-bad-for-you
{welcome luke to the blog world, ladies}


6. let us also not 4get about the crème brulée donut
@doughnut plant


q.e.d.
donuts are better.

@bombolini

challenge me, i dare you.
{i think meghan's already working on it...}
and i will personally bring you on a walking donut tour of manhattan 
where we will stop at the following:
{from north to south}

bombolini at 68th and columbus, for warm, filled italian donuts
the 65th street farmers' market for apple cider donuts & the homey farm boys that vend them
bouchon bakery at columbus circle for thomas kellerness
a voce at columbus circle for haute bombolini and a view of central park
holey cream in hell's kitchen
the breslin bar and dining room at 29th and broadway for chewy chewy ciabatta donuts
doughnut plant on the lower east side for outrageousness 
shopsin's at the essex street market for baby donuts


sheesh, that's enough donut porn for now.


who's with me?


xoxo


yeh



week 13: doughnut plant

in , ,

it is 6:30 in the AM.
the sun begins to rise.
our* location: the lower east side

*high school friend stefani, bass player friend kris, kris' friend from alaska/john luther adams, and me

and whoever decided that this chilly weather is acceptable
is a doofus.

the past twelve hours have included:
white pizza, 
washington heights,
bagels/eggs/taters, 
j.s. bach with drum set accompaniment {??},
 a former new york attorney general {????????}, 
salsa dancing,
confusion,
and
steamed milk with almond {my new favvvvve}

the past twelve twenty-two and a half hours have not included:
sleep.
save for a few minutes when i accidentally closed my eyes mid almond-milk at the yaffa cafe on st. marks.


it seems natural,
that a donut shop should be sampled at the start of its day.
{because that's just when you're supposed to eat donuts}
and at around 3:30am,
when we happened to be in close proximity to
we made the wise/educated decision
 that it simply would have been pointless to scale the island,
only to have to turn right back around to get there for its 6:30 opening.

so we muscled through the wee morning hours,
 engaging in various appropriate shenanigans, 
and killing time til opening time.

this is real research, people.


 we arrived at 6:23.
danced in the cold. {wanna see my new salsa moves?}

...prob took some pictures we weren't supposed to...
...and then went to town when, 
at 6:30 on the dot,
we were allowed in to
the teensy aqua hole-in-the-wall
that is doughnut plant.
the choices were obvious:

peanut butter and jelly
yeast risen, jelly filled, peanut butter frosting, peanuts
blackberry 
yeast risen, blackberry jam filled, will beat up any other jelly donut
valrhona 
yeast risen, chocolate donut, chocolate glazed
sunflower
yeast risen, topped with seeds
tres leches
cake, white, filled with white stuff {grow up}, 
i don't know but it was definitely one of the best
blackout
cake, chocolate, more chocolate, more chocolate, etc

and we ravaged them,
as if we hadn't just had almost an entire white pizza ,
as if we hadn't just had an entire bagel/schmear schmorgesborg,
heck, 
as if we hadn't eaten for months. 

it reminded me of the great krispy kreme ravage of '99,
when mum picked me up from the 5th grade with a dozen,
and they were all gone in seconds {blame an epic growth spurt}.


and just when we thought donuts were going to start popping out of our pores,
the donut man gave us a gifty
{i love gifties}

the crème brulée donut.

do you remember this?
{the out-of-this-world crème brulée from artisanal that i had circa early february}

now,
imagine that between the cream,
and the turtle shell,
there is an ooey gooey
yeast-risen
donut.
"weeeeeeeeeee!!!" the sound of excitement and joy
it was such a diva.
complete with crackly shell, caramelized to perfection,
cream dripping down your arm,
my heavens, it was in a league of its own.


the remains created about one full donut,
that would still put any dunkin donut to shame.
what separated these donuts from others,
was the outrageous abundance of thick glaze
{i watched as gloved donutmen plunged them into huge buckets of ____}
and total moistness in both the yeast and the cake.

disappointing was that,
even though we were the first customers of the day,
the donuts we got had been made at some point way earlier in the night,
and were not hot or at their height of freshness.

can a sista get some hot-nows for neglecting sleep in order to get these thanggggs?

also disappointing was the absence of donut holes.
what will the munchkins eat?

also disappointing was that they only take cash.
but maybe that worked in my/my credit card's/my gut's favor.


rumor on the street is that,
in the holiday season,
they have a marzipan donut,
which i will definitely need to go back for...

but until then,
glorious friends,
i've got 39 more restaurants to try...

and a freaking nap to take.


xoxo


yeh


doughnut plant is on grand street between essex and norfolk in new york's sassy lower east side.
open tuesday-sunday 6:30-6:30
bills and coinz only.

week 9: big pink

in , ,



miami has three types of restaurants:
1. the kind that uses big boobies to attract customers
{such as... ALL of the restaurants on lincoln road}
2. little dives like la sandwicherie and el rey de las fritas that are a bit off the beaten path but worth it.
3. diners where the menus are the size of a four year old.

... and so when my best bribery efforts to get a ride to el rey failed,
big pink
saved me from having to endure big boobied hostesses.


the victims, left to right: 
sue, mark, brian, me, rob 
{five points if you guess which ones are related}

...it was your typical huge diner-y restaurant that apparently all of miami flocks to for sunday brunch,
and it has some quirky menu items,
such as a tv style dinner, complete with sectioned tray,
and various things served in buckets...

like the calamari and shrimp that i tried for the first time
and the calamari i kind of liked
and the shrimp made me want to puke my brains out.
{the men loved em though}

...so then our mains came.

and then about ten minutes later our silverware came.

like what?
rob wonders how he should eat his tuna sammich

brian showcases his lox pizza with caviar
which might as well have been a bagel & lox
too salty for brian's taste
{wimp}
a+ for creativity, i thought it was delightfully mediocre

when i couldn't decide what to get on the 4 foot by 4 foot menu,
mark told me to close my eyes and point at something,
and i got
the big pink hollywood breakfast
polenta fries topped with spinach, bacon, and poached eggs...
covered in cheese sauce
{cheese sauce on the side for me please, for the sake of my poor heart}




and i learned two things:


1. there's a reason polenta fries aren't more popular
2. having to watch your poor food lose heat while a sassy aloof waitress hunts down silverware is more painful than you will ever know. 


p.s. what self 'specting restaurant serves nacho cheese?





anyways.
in the end,
sassy waitresses and the absence of silverware 
did not ruin the meal
because
us midwesterners were in the sun,
graced with people we love,
and enthralled in good conversation.


...43 to go...


xoxo


yeh



big pink is located at 157 collins ave in miami