miami has three types of restaurants:

1. the kind that uses big boobies to attract customers

{such as... ALL of the restaurants on lincoln road}

2. little dives like la sandwicherie and el rey de las fritas that are a bit off the beaten path but worth it.

3. diners where the menus are the size of a four year old.

... and so when my best bribery efforts to get a ride to el rey failed,

big pink

saved me from having to endure big boobied hostesses.

the victims, left to right:
sue, mark, brian, me, rob
{five points if you guess which ones are related}

...it was your typical huge diner-y restaurant that apparently all of miami flocks to for sunday brunch,

and it has some quirky menu items,

such as a tv style dinner, complete with sectioned tray,

and various things served in buckets...

like the calamari and shrimp that i tried for the first time

and the calamari i kind of liked

and the shrimp made me want to puke my brains out.

{the men loved em though}

...so then our mains came.

and then about ten minutes later our silverware came.

like what?

rob wonders how he should eat his tuna sammich

brian showcases his lox pizza with caviar

which might as well have been a bagel & lox

too salty for brian's taste

{wimp}

a+ for creativity, i thought it was delightfully mediocre

when i couldn't decide what to get on the 4 foot by 4 foot menu,
mark told me to close my eyes and point at something,
and i got
the big pink hollywood breakfast
polenta fries topped with spinach, bacon, and poached eggs...
covered in cheese sauce
{cheese sauce on the side for me please, for the sake of my poor heart}

and i learned two things:

1. there's a reason polenta fries aren't more popular
2. having to watch your poor food lose heat while a sassy aloof waitress hunts down silverware is more painful than you will ever know.

p.s. what self 'specting restaurant serves nacho cheese?