halva rugelach

i am stressing out right now because there isn't enough snow on the ground. i came here for the snow. i bought the last pair of bean boots for the snow. i'm having my wedding here for the snow. i ate a lot of bread and cheese this past month so that i could plump up for the snow. where is all the snow!!!!!

i've been checking the weather forecast like a farmer and there is not one unit of snow in the next 10 days. not even a subzero temperature. it will be in the 40s on saturday. i hate it. h8 it. 

all i want to do is sit by a frosty window with eggboy and a peppermint mocha as we watch herds of snow come twinkling into our lives by the foot. and then in two and a half weeks when we get married, i want to be this and this and i want to make rosemary syrup and pour it over a cone of snow served in one of the 500 snowcone cones that i just ordered from the internet restaurant store. 

does anybody know a snow dance? or perhaps a shredded coconut company that will come and sprinkle coconut everywhere? can you people in new york place some in a box and send it to me????

*at least there are cookies*

rugelach has always provided warm fuzzy comfort to me, even when it's not cold, mostly because it's one of mum's specialties. she sent me packages of it all the time when i was in college and my friends went gaga over "jody's rugelach." she usually fills it with chocolate or cinnamon sugar, but this version is filled with a pimped out version of halva spread. they are best straight out of the oven with a nice hot beverage. 

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halva rugelach

makes 20-24

ingredients

dough:

1 c unsalted butter, softened

8 oz cream cheese, softened

1/4 c sugar

2 large egg yolks

1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp almond extract

1/2 tsp kosher salt

2 c all-purpose flour

filling:

3/4 c tahini

1/4 c honey

1 tsp vanilla extract

a pinch of kosher salt

a pinch of ground cinnamon

egg wash + topping:

1 large egg

1 tb honey

a splash of water

toasted sesame seeds

sprinkles, optional

powdered sugar, optional

clues

in the bowl of a stand mixer, beat together the butter and cream cheese. add the sugar, and then add the egg yolks, one at a time. beat in the extracts, sprinkle in the salt, and then add the flour. dough will be quite sticky. divide it into two parts, wrap tightly in plastic wrap, and then refrigerate for 4 hours or overnight.

prepare the filling by mixing together all of the filling ingredients until smooth.

preheat oven to 375. working with one half of the dough at a time, roll it out on a floured surface into a rectangle (about 9 inches by 13 inches). spread half of the filling in a thin even layer all over the rectangle, leaving a 1-inch wide space along the long edge furthest from you. roll the dough up like a jelly roll, beginning from the edge that's closest to you. cut it into 1 1/2-inch pieces and place them on a baking sheet lined with parchment, 1 inch apart. repeat with remaining dough.

beat together the egg, honey, and a splash of water, and brush it onto the tops of the rugelach. sprinkle on toasted sesame seeds and sprinkles, if using.

bake until slightly browned, begin checking for doneness at 18 minutes.

dust with powdered sugar if you'd like and enjoy!

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this is part of honestly yum's virtual cookie swap!! check out these amazinggggg cookies that i wish we were actually real-life swapping:

buckwheat + oat flour christmas cutouts from a brown table

salted white chocolate oatmeal cookies from honestly yum

spiced cocoa polvorones from the bojon gourmet

pine nut cookies from shutterbean

matcha coconut macaroons from i am a food blog

gingerbread madeleines with molasses glaze from the kitchy kitchen

white chocolate and cranberry biscotti from what's gaby cooking

peppermint hot chocolate cookies from bakers royale

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-yeh!!

sprinkle cake

not the possibility of my wedding dress being too tight after eating too many cheesy toasts, not the unidentified dot on my face that i'm pretty sure is housing a 100-foot ingrown hair, not the upcoming beet harvest that will have eggboy working 27 hours a day. no. the thing that has kept me up at night these past two months has been: a homemade version of funfetti® cake. 

it's just sprinkles in white cake.

it's just sprinkles in white cake.

it's not just sprinkles in white cake. 

attempt number one: 

i began with the number one rule of anything funfetti®-inspired desserts, which i picked up from marian, who learned it from a momofuku milk bar class: use clear imitation vanilla. that is the flavor that will launch you right back into a babysitters' club slumber party world, complete with scrunchies and friendship bracelets. 

i combined this knowledge with my go-to vanilla cake, which is based on these gorgeous cupcakes. it draws its moisture from butter and oil, and gets a slight zing from yogurt. i folded in a heavy dose of sprinkles, thinking my job was pretty much done.

and the end product was fine, just fine. i would have been happy to serve it to my mother and we would have enjoyed it a bunch.

however.

it could have been sprinklier, the colors could have popped more, the sprinkles could have been scattered more evenly, and the texture could have been closer to the original (lighter). all of these things kept me from saying yes.

i also wanted to know what other colorful objects might work.

sprinkle testing:

here are sample cakes with all of the sprinkles i own, as well as chopped colored marzipan and a series of found objects, including fresh mint leaves, petals of bachelor button flowers, black sesame seeds, chopped dried cranberries, and chopped dried mango. it's clear which sprinkles held onto their colors throughout the baking process. and one more thing is clear: it's very important to fold those suckers in thoroughly (see: the clumps in the artificial sprinkle samples), as in, it's probably best to fold them in before you pour the batter into the pan so you can have more room in the bowl to make sure you do a thorough job. the cake with the found objects, which i was really excited about, didn't look too terrible up close, it just tasted weird with all of that fresh mint. sadly, none of the natural sprinkles worked very well (i really didn't want to believe that the 2.9 pounds of naturally dyed sprinkles i just bought wouldn't work, but despite numerous attempts, they wouldn't), and the sanding sugar dissolved. so i narrowed my favorites down to four choices and then baked full layers with them, adding more sprinkles than the first test, and being careful to fold them in thoroughly:

top: artificially dyed homemade sprinkles on the left, artificially dyed store-bought sprinkles on the right; bottom: artificially dyed marzipan on the left, artificially dyed nonpareils on the right.

and here they are all stacked up for attempt number two-ish:

the layers are, from bottom to top: store-bought sprinkles, marzipan, nonpareils, and homemade sprinkles. many of the sprinkles fell right to the bottom and still the colors didn't pop too well. also, eggboy thought that decorating the cake with sprinkles on the outside took away from the sprinkles on the inside. three points, eggboy!

ok so what did i learn from this step?

the sprinkles need to be suspended in thicker batter and the batter needs to be whiter. how do we make a batter whiter? eliminate egg yolks. how do we make a batter thicker? with the help of john the baker from the town bakery, i learned three ways: use a higher protein flour (cake flour has a low protein percentage, so perhaps sub some of it for all-purpose flour), use less liquid ingredients and more solid ingredients (butter instead of oil, for example), whip the egg whites to peaks before folding them in with the rest of the ingredients.

my next cake used 1 cup of all-purpose flour and 1 1/2 cups of cake flour, as well as more butter, less oil, and no yogurt. eliminating the acidic ingredient yogurt eliminated the need for baking soda. i also sprinkled some sprinkles on top of the batter after pouring it into my cake pans, to make sure there were sprinkles towards the top of the layers (i picked this up from reading momofuku milk bar's birthday cake recipe).

attempt number three (part ap flour + part cake flour), in the style of pacman:

it worked splendidly. the sprinkles were evenly distributed and the cake was flavorful and moist. it had a dense crumb, which i really like, however, boxed cakes are usually much lighter than that, so i wanted to test my luck and try the more-butter option with an all-cake flour mix. (i was trying my best to avoid having to whip the egg whites to peaks because i h8 h8 h8 dirtying up bowls when not necessary.)

annnnd...

weeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

light, flavorful, evenly distributed with sprinkles that pop, reminiscent of all of my single digit birthday parties. success. 

final cake, with marzipan bunting: 

an update (two years later!): i've updated a few things in this recipe! the original recipe is posted over at food52, and the updated recipe below is what went in molly on the range. a few minor changes: i now prefer to bake this cake in three shorter laters than two tall layers, allowing for a more even frosting distribution which helps more moisture circulate throughout the cake. also with these shorter layers, you now longer need to sprinkle more sprinkles on top of the batter. i've also tweaked the flour situation just a bit to eliminate the need for cake flour. a combination of all-purpose flour and cornstarch gives a most delightful fluffy crumb! (stay tuned for more updates after a million more test runs in what will probably be two more years...)

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sprinkle cake

makes one 3-layer 8" cake or 24 cupcakes

ingredients

for the cake:

2 1/2 c flour

1/4 c constarch

1 tsp kosher salt

2 tsp baking powder

1 c unsalted butter, at room temperature

1 1/2 c sugar

4 large egg whites

1/4 c flavorless oil

1 tb clear imitation vanilla (I prefer McCormick brand)

1/2 tsp almond extract

3/4 c whole milk

1/2 c rainbow sprinkles (artificially colored cynlinders, not nonpareils, sanding sugar, or anything naturally colored)

for the frosting:

1 3/4 c unsalted butter, at room temperature

3 1/2 c powdered sugar

1/8 tsp kosher salt

1 1/2 tsp clear imitation vanilla

1/4 tsp almond extract

2 tb whole milk

clues

to make the cake:

preheat the oven to 350ºf. grease and line the bottoms of three 8-inch cake pans or line 24 cups of two muffin tins.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cornstarch, salt, and baking powder.

In a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the egg whites, one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Add the oil and the extracts.

With the mixer running on low speed, add the dry mixture and the milk in two or three alternating batches and mix until just barely combined, Using a rubber spatula, gently fold in the sprinkles until they're evenly distributed. Distribute the batter among the cake pans or muffin cups, spreading it out evenly if using cake pans.

Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Begin checking for doneness at 25 minutes for cakes and 20 minutes for cupcakes.

let cool in the pans for 10 minutes and then turn onto a wire rack to cool completely.

to make the frosting: 

in a standing mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat the butter until smooth and gradually beat in the powdered sugar. add the salt, extracts, and milk and beat to combine.

frost the cake or cupcakes as desired and enjoy.

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-yeh!

gummy bear sangria

reasons to celebrate right this very moment:

1. gummy bears exist

2. so does this carrot twitter feed

3. harvest started yesterday

4. it's been sweater weather here all week!

5. school has begun??

6. the two year anniversary of my first date (this date) with eggboy is tomorrow

7. i bought a can of pumpkin and did not feel premature about it

8. there are oodles of apples growing in our backyard

9. benedict cumberbatch won an emmy

so let's make drunky bears and put them in sangria because we all know that gummy bears + fruit > only fruit. ok?

you can take a lot of liberties with this. feel free to soak your bears in any kind of booze you want. here is a handy drunken gummy bear guide. if you prefer another fruit to apples, go right ahead. i like juicing some fruit and using the juice in addition to the cut up fruit, for more flavor. (this juicer from williams-sonoma is the one i use!) red wine is fine to use, although it might be difficult to see your little bears with that. i like using wine that's not too sweet, since there's already a lot of sugar involved with the fruit, fruit juice, and gummy bears. oh, and the wooden skewers topped with gummy bears do double duty: they're cute, and they help to fish the fruit and bears out of the bottom of the cup.

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gummy bear sangria

ingredients

1 1/2 c gummy bears

about 1 1/2 c vodka

1 bottle white wine

1 c apple juice

1/2 c to 1 c fizzy water

2 large apples, sliced

1 lime, sliced, plus more for garnish

clues

place your gummy bears in a jar or container, reserving a few to stick on top of some wooden skewers for serving. pour enough vodka in to cover your bears, cover the container, and let them soak at room temperature for eight hours, or overnight. 

(...you'll then have gummy bear infused vodka and vodka infused gummy bears and you might wonder if that's inception or osmosis or both or neither (?))

strain the gummy bears, reserving the vodka for another use. you may even want to add some of that vodka to your sangria to make it extra extra boozy. 

in a large pitcher, punch bowl, or hipster jar (sorry, i didn't have anything else...), combine your drunky bears, wine, apple juice, 1/2 cup fizzy water, apples, and limes, and stir. taste and add more fizzy water, if desired. chill and/or add ice for serving. serve with lime slices and wooden skewers topped with gummy bears. cheers!!!!

-yeh!

pistachio bakewell pop-tarts

every day, i wake up, boil water for my oatmeal, grab the oats jar from the shelf, pour the oats in the water, and find myself well with the world. but last week molly decided that she needed to buy the massive, only-buy-if-you-own-a-bakery container of sprinkles, and then didn't have anywhere to put them except inside of my oats jar. so, i reached for my oats the next morning and came frighteningly close to melting $50 worth of naturally dyed sugar pellets. this is all coming back to me as i look at those sprinkles on today's pop-tarts. 

i used to love pop-tarts. during every track meet in high school, i would eat a brown sugar cinnamon frosted two-pack to get jacked up for the triple jump. i moved on to other things, though, cuz nobody's ever wanted to be pop-tart boy.

...until these guys popped out of the oven. take it from someone who has only eaten oats and peanut butter for the past 36 hours: these are the real deal. you know when you try to reinvent a favorite childhood food, but with better ingredients and an advanced culinary insight? you think you want somebody to say "holy cow, these are better than dunkaroos!" but what you are actually, secretly, deeply hoping, is that somebody will say "these taste JUST LIKE DUNKAROOS!" and because nothing can compete with childhood nostalgia, if you can bake something that "tastes JUST LIKE DUNKAROOS" today, well, my friend, you have made it.

ba(t)ching update: i was watching the episode where aunt bee leaves andy and opie alone for a few days, and i wished i could relate to their father-son antics, but unfortunately i don't have a mini ron howard around to yell "pa! the chicken's burning!"

-eggboy

pistachio bakewell pop-tarts

makes 8-10

ingredients

1 stick butter, softened

1/4 c sugar

1/4 c pistachio paste

2 large eggs

1 tsp lemon juice

1/4 tsp almond extract

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 c flour

1 lb pie dough

1/4 c jam

1 1/2 c powdered

about 2 tb milk

crushed toasted pistachios and sprinkles

clues

preheat oven to 400. line a baking sheet with parchment and set it aside.

in a large bowl or bowl of a stand mixer, beat together the butter, sugar, and pistachio paste. add 1 egg (reserving the other for an egg wash), followed by the lemon juice and extracts.

mix in the salt and flour until just combined.

cut out 8 2-inch by 3-inch squares of pie dough and place them on your baking sheet. spread each with about a teaspoon of jam and top with a healthy blob of pistachio batter. you could also spoon the batter into a piping bag and pipe it on. 

from the remaining pie dough, cut out rectangles that are about 1/4-inch longer on all sides, so that they fit over the filling.

whip up the remaining egg with a splash of water and brush the edges of the tarts. place a layer of pie dough over the top and crimp the edges with a fork. seal the edges well!

poke the tops with a fork a few times and bake for 10-15 minutes, until slightly browned.

let cool.

whisk together the powdered sugar and milk, adding more or less milk to achieve your desired consistency. spread this on the tarts and top with crushed nuts and sprinkles.

enjoy!

other fun bakewell recipes! gluten free mini bakewell tarts + bakewell cookies + bakewell bars