pistachio bakewell pop-tarts

in ,

every day, i wake up, boil water for my oatmeal, grab the oats jar from the shelf, pour the oats in the water, and find myself well with the world. but last week molly decided that she needed to buy the massive, only-buy-if-you-own-a-bakery container of sprinkles, and then didn't have anywhere to put them except inside of my oats jar. so, i reached for my oats the next morning and came frighteningly close to melting $50 worth of naturally dyed sugar pellets. this is all coming back to me as i look at those sprinkles on today's pop-tarts. 

i used to love pop-tarts. during every track meet in high school, i would eat a brown sugar cinnamon frosted two-pack to get jacked up for the triple jump. i moved on to other things, though, cuz nobody's ever wanted to be pop-tart boy.

...until these guys popped out of the oven. take it from someone who has only eaten oats and peanut butter for the past 36 hours: these are the real deal. you know when you try to reinvent a favorite childhood food, but with better ingredients and an advanced culinary insight? you think you want somebody to say "holy cow, these are better than dunkaroos!" but what you are actually, secretly, deeply hoping, is that somebody will say "these taste JUST LIKE DUNKAROOS!" and because nothing can compete with childhood nostalgia, if you can bake something that "tastes JUST LIKE DUNKAROOS" today, well, my friend, you have made it.

ba(t)ching update: i was watching the episode where aunt bee leaves andy and opie alone for a few days, and i wished i could relate to their father-son antics, but unfortunately i don't have a mini ron howard around to yell "pa! the chicken's burning!"

-eggboy

pistachio bakewell pop-tarts

makes 8-10

ingredients

1 stick butter, softened

1/4 c sugar

1/4 c pistachio paste

2 large eggs

1 tsp lemon juice

1/4 tsp almond extract

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 c flour

1 lb pie dough

1/4 c jam

1 1/2 c powdered

about 2 tb milk

crushed toasted pistachios and sprinkles

clues

preheat oven to 400. line a baking sheet with parchment and set it aside.

in a large bowl or bowl of a stand mixer, beat together the butter, sugar, and pistachio paste. add 1 egg (reserving the other for an egg wash), followed by the lemon juice and extracts.

mix in the salt and flour until just combined.

cut out 8 2-inch by 3-inch squares of pie dough and place them on your baking sheet. spread each with about a teaspoon of jam and top with a healthy blob of pistachio batter. you could also spoon the batter into a piping bag and pipe it on. 

from the remaining pie dough, cut out rectangles that are about 1/4-inch longer on all sides, so that they fit over the filling.

whip up the remaining egg with a splash of water and brush the edges of the tarts. place a layer of pie dough over the top and crimp the edges with a fork. seal the edges well!

poke the tops with a fork a few times and bake for 10-15 minutes, until slightly browned.

let cool.

whisk together the powdered sugar and milk, adding more or less milk to achieve your desired consistency. spread this on the tarts and top with crushed nuts and sprinkles.

enjoy!