week 39: tehuitzingo

not that i'm too much of a gossip girl,

but i do lovvvve a good secret.

{secret passages, secret forts, secret burger joints...}

tehuitzingo

is the first secret mexican place i've been to.

it reminded me of the time my friend took me to a gross, broken down bodega in boston: he told me to walk directly towards the vending machine in the back of the store, and as i was about to chicken out for fear of smashing my nose, the vending machine slid to the side and tout à coup i was standing in the biggest, most luxurious sneaker store i ever did see...

tehuitzingo doesn't have a secret vending machine door, but it does just appear to be an itsy bitsy snackee store in the outskirts of hell's kitchen. {one that i probably wouldn't have gone to, had a tipster not told me about the secret in the back}. after squeezing past some pastries and piles of mexican candy that look like they're about to avalanche on your head, a wooden man welcomes you to a space with counters in the back. and there you are... sitting in a green-lit nook that's reminiscent of the jungle gym from your youth. a half-door at the back is where the cook takes orders...

and of course i got a torta.

{chickens}

as i waited, some music came on via the jukebox {hey, my jungle gym didn't have a juke box! no fair!}

and when i finally stopped giggling from being in the secret world, i gobbled up my torta, no mess. it was heavy on the lettuce and avocado which made me feel good cause i was getting my recommended daily amount of vegetables. i think. 

the bread was a bit crispy, and held its junk in real good.

the horchata was non existent :-( but, i mean, what can you do with four square-feet of space? 

mirrors on the walls made the space, and my rump look bigger {maybe it wasn't the mirrors...}

dessert was this cutie patootie from the front of the store!

it was like the inside of a milka egg. and equally as importantly, it came with a little plastic spoon. teehee.

it was a very scrumptious and mischievous meal indeed.

i will be back!

but first...

i've got 13 more restaurants to go!!

xoxo

yeh

tehuitzingo is on 47th and 10th

week 38: pasha

queens is:

a) the borough with the airport

b) where new york's token beer garden is

c) a little bit scary if you haven't a clue what you're doing

all of the above. 

no really, i can count the amount of times i've been to queens on one foot {well, maybe two foots and a nostril if you include laguardia trips}

it's something about the bridges and the q train and the striking similarities that it shares with the town near my home that my eye doctor's office is in that i've just never had a sensational desire to go. 

but then my friend danielle came along who is, i shit you not, the sam sifton of queens. and she was like 

come to astoria and eat bosnian burgers.
 they're the size of your ass.

she didn't say the ass part, but that's really the approximate size, i think, i hope. 

and so i smushed like a little baby sardine onto the q train {EEEEEEECK} and i deboarded somewhere somehow and then we {danielle, peter, nick, me} ate at

pasha

which is the bosnian burger center of the universe, apparently.

nick and i each got one.

and it's essentially what would happen if a schnitzel got with a spotted pig burger 

and then was garnished with creamy tangy cheese and roasted peppers and cozied up in a pita 

{read: a reeeeally flat lamby burger, i think there's beef in there too?}

it was insane and enough like an american burger to really have something to grasp onto, but different enough to make you want to go alllll the way to queens for it.

danielle got some sausagey thing that was essentially the burger in sausage shape. and peter got another smokey sausagey thing that was equally as scrumptious. 

but not ass-sized.

and the whole entire time, danielle was telling me about all of these different cuisines in queens that i've never even heard of. and i was all what the ef am i missing 

and she was all yeah, you haven't even had good uzbek-peruvian-azerbaijani fusion until you've had it in queens.

anyways, the burger was so big i couldn't finish it all. {that's a first} 

it was so good. and so cheap.

believe me when i say,

queens: it's what's for dinner.

take me to the queen, i've got 14 restaurants left.

xoxo

yeh

pasha: don't eat lunch, and then take the n or q to 30th ave. 

week 37: hidechan ramen

since i ran out of things to say about ramen last week,

i interviewed my token ramen-expert friend chris p thompson to talk about

hidechan ramen

{hee-day chan}

{totto ramen's east side cousin}

here it is:

 would you rather belly flop in a pool of ramen or a pool of mayonnaise?

ok mayonnaise but it has to be kewpie, and there must be either sriracha, wasabi, or red chili oil mixed in.

tell us about your first experience at hidechan (in third person).

chris was having a lot of trouble walking down 52nd street because the line for the schnitzel truck was blocking foot traffic. eventually he broke through and arrived at hidechan (irasshaimase!), where he selected his desired noodle firmness and eagerly awaited the hakata spicy miso ramen. various japanese peeps slurped contentedly. in exactly the space of one bloggy photo and one twitter-check, the bowl arrived. three minutes and 47 seconds later, tongue completely numb, chris decided that there was now a compelling reason to go to east midtown.

why are hidechan's noodles like this: 

and totto's like this:

the following informative and entertaining educational video can answer this question better than i ever could:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm_ubnnZusc

describe hidechan's ramen in four verbs.

render

tingle

numb

fatten

 if hidechan's spicy miso ramen were a person (dead, alive, or imaginary), who would it be?

it would be the cartoon baby that serves as the corporate logo for want want holdings ltd.

 his tongue and belly love being on fire, also it is secretly chinese (we haven't talked about the secret ingredient, which i theorize to be szechwan peppercorns).

and who would it be in love with (food or person)?

um spicy girl? (supaishii gaaru)

 have you had the pork buns or the gyoza or any of the other sides?

yes i always order mentaiko rice, which is spicy fish roe with thinly sliced nori over rice. pretty standard but quite excellent. japanese people often judge a ramen place partially on it's gyoza (this is the equivalent of us judging a burger joint partially on it's fries, which is fair), but i admit i haven't yet tried them. wanna go later?

how does it compare to ramen that you've eaten in japan?

actually, you know what's crazy? of the times i've been to japan i can recall eating at a real ramen shop exactly once; my enthusiasm for ramen began only after my most recent trip (fall of 2006). furthermore, i don't think that one real ramen experience would be a good gauge for comparison. picture line c3 circa 2004 in tokyo, it is 4 am, last train long gone, sam passed out face-down on the counter, big country singing (!?), and haruka furiously apologizing to the whole place in japanese. the taste of the ramen is pretty much the only thing i didn't take away from that otherwise memorable experience.

yay! thanks chris!!!

stay tuned for a detailed list of chris' favorite ramen places...

...15 restaurants to go!!!!

xoxo

yeh

hidechan is on 52nd and 2nd. and it's open until 2am mon-sat!!!

week 36: totto ramen

and just like that, as if it were on some kind of cue,

it is soup weather. 

{you know, the edible version of scarf weather. the best kind of weather}

not that it needs to be soup weather to eat ramen

because ramen was the non-kosher food of choice at summer camp... 

my friendsies brought cases of the stuff in their duffels. don't even ask how we cooked it. it's really embarrassing. 

but anywho. 

ramen is the type of soup that tastes best when you're eleven and you've just had a really long ice skating practice and you're still in your skating tights and your little skating dress but you must have food to even have the energy to change into your jammies. so your mommy bypasses the leftovers and just sticks some "line noodle soup" on the stove. bless her.

and maybe it's because i'm so used to the mommy line noodle soup that i've not been so terribly wild about all these ramen places around the city {i am no chris p thompson}

but let it be known

totto ramen

is the exception. the first of its kind.

there are two levels of spiciness, but i think one would win:

there was a really long line when i went but i think my friend matt must have given the hostess the sexy eyes or something because we got in way sooner than we expected.

we started with the 

char siu mayo don

pork+mayo+magic rice+green things

even though it was pork, it was very light and clean tasting. like a good albert herring performance... at first impression, you think you're going to want a little something more {like a spicy bit or a sauce} but, no no, it's quite comforting as it is. 

the ramen that both matt and i got was the

totto miso ramen

koji miso+ground pork+paitan soup+egg+green things+bean things+onion+char siu pork

what is a koji and a paitan? i do not know. but they were happy and them two together in the broth were i think the secret behind why i liked this ramen a lot a lot.

the broth was thick. not thick like the dead sea up in thur, but in it you could taste the little miso granules.

and the little granules clung to the doodles.

my goodness it was tasty.

{alas, still no doodle will be mushy enough for me, but these were actually closer to my liking than i expected. yay!}

it was really mega flavory. 

even matt who will only eat at harry's burritos really liked it.

hopefully soup weather is here to stay because the owner of totto has another new place, hide chan, across town...

so don't be surprised if that's one of my 12 remaining restaurants!!!

xoxo

yeh

totto ramen is on 52nd and 9th. 

next to lucky burger, kitty-corner from brian's old apartment {read: many a drunk percussionist know this block well}