amsterdam

if amsterdam were a person, i think perhaps she would be that very pretty, well-dressed human who is nice to just about everyone. who is easy to talk to, enjoys throwing gatherings, and probably has a family farm in connecticut that dates back many generations {but you're really not quite sure}. sometimes you wish she'd tell you what she really thought or say the f word. other times you are so very grateful for the quaintness of her company. 

***

food in amsterdam i ate and loved.

fries at vleminckx

herring sandwich at rob wigboldis vishandel

krokets at febo

pâté + cherry beer at die zotte

ice cream at ijscuypje

bitterballen at café de engelbewaarder

everything at café de koe

gevulde koeken {almond paste cookies!!} everywhere

-yeh!

tanglewood.

all sealed up in my most favorite jar of memories are my tanglewood summers. summers that i spent admiring everyone around me, performing concerts that brought me to tears, running round barefoot in the berkshires, and spending all of my money eating at every single restaurant in little lenox. everything was new, caution wasn't totally in my vocabulary yet. time and again, wherever i go, i find myself trying to recreate the excitement and magic of those summers. 

slowly i'm learning that i'm not going to. not in that way. and that's exactly why those memories are so special.

{when i need it, i put on the adagietto and let the breath become sucked out of me as i watch teenage versions of craig, nathan, chris, and me dance in slow motion through the field by ozawa hall. that's about as close as i get.}

***

my past few days were spent in the berkshires, grabbing little bits out of my jar, and being so pathetically and wonderfully nostalgic. 

i ate a loebwich, my 2007 usual, the "leslie b no sprouts." i finished it with a raspberry jam cookie, the barely baked kind that i've only ever found at loeb's.

i drank a red bull because it was my beverage of choice in 2006, when whiskey was what the higher-ups would have called a grey box violation.

talked a lot of shop. shot the shit. received goosebumps in a percussion ensemble concert.

had a slice of betty's, a berkshire bagel, a bite of soco, and a dip in the stockbridge bowl.

fell prey to hundreds of mosquitos and embraced the inability for t-mobile to work properly anywhere in the vicinity.

i didn't want to leave, no way, i wanted to stay and continue the plunge into that mountain high that makes me so happy. 

alas, i've got a berlin-bound plane to catch.

-yeh!

removing magnetic poetry from my fridge, bite me.

slash: things i'd rather be doing right now.

 eating strawberry rhubarb pie in a field with rob.

 preparing little cheese plates for my friends.

 playing marimbas in the woods with mike.

 engaging in friday night pizza night, by way of grandaisy.

 dancing until dawn in a tent on a farm.

 being, just, way too cool.

 getting a birdie flock tattoo.

 making self timer pictures on the williamsburg bridge with jason while he wears grandpa shorts.

***

instead i am taking a huevo torta//#whatshouldwecallme conservatory break from packing my entire apartment. packing is the worst. i'd rather eat a banana. mark my word, i'm never moving again unless it involves telepathically transporting my cotton candy machine, multiple fondue pots, and antique pyrex collection. and girl, i haven't even started on the mustards. the horror. luckily the radical face internet radio station is delivering exactly what i want. 
unluckily, i think it's time to carry on packing.

-yeh

stream of consciousness day

 

to ring in my birthday, rob and maria and i engaged in stream of consciousness day: a 24-hour piece of performance art centered on doing whatever we want, when we want it. obviously there's not much planning to be done aside from taking a vacation day from work and mentally preparing yourself for the possibility that your stream of consciousness could lead you to a tattoo parlor or the lunchable aisle of the grocery store or, heaven forbid, staten island. luckily our streams didn't lead us to do any permanent damage. i was mostly looking to eat as many breakfast sandwiches as possible, maria and i got massages and our nails did, and rob went to the party store to buy those absurd clown glasses for us. we ate cake balls and nougats and... we just didn't hold back when it came to eating and drinking. the day ended with sangria and bacon cheeseburgers on the hudson as the sun set, some really strong coconut cake at good enough to eat, and belly aches that carried on into the next day. hehe, oops. 

-yeh!