grilled pineapple + prosciutto salsa

my refrigerator plays a lot of roles: experiment incubator, keeper of the butter shelf, cheese vault, condiment storage center, shielder of leftovers i just don't want to deal with right now, and over the summer, salad bar.

i am very into making big batches of cold prepared foods and keeping them in containers in the fridge for when eggboy runs in for a quick snack or during long days of cake testing when i've reached my cake quota and need a gosh darn plant in my belly at a moment's notice.

i like salad bars. a lot. they make eating vegetables easier and in my dream house there is a self-replenishing salad bar. (like smart house, with salad.)

my favorite cold foods these days--and we'll call them cold foods because salad bars aren't just about traditional salads, right?--are hummus (obviously), a cold curry cauliflower situation (recipe coming soon!), israeli salad (which by the way i am leaving for israel this weekend!!!!!), and this grilled pineapple salsa that's got prosciutto in it which is magic. 

magic because it isn't just for chips. it's for toast, and eating straight, and tossing with some greens to make an actual salad, and *wait for it* pizza..........

pizza gif pizza gif.

at the end of the week, if there's any of this pineapple salsa left, we throw it on a pizza for pizza friday because true story, this salsa happens to be all of our favorite pizza toppings in a bowl.

an all-purpose salsa, if you will.

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grilled pineapple + prosciutto salsa

makes about 5 cups

ingredients

1/2 pineapple, cut into wedges

2 roma tomatoes, chopped

1 green bell pepper, chopped

1/2 purple onion, chopped

4 oz prosciutto, chopped

a good squeeze of lime

salt, pepper, and smoked paprika, to taste

clue

heat a grill or grill pan on medium high heat and grill the pineapple wedges on both sides until you get pretty brown marks. let them cool and then chop.

in a large bowl, toss together the pineapple, tomatoes, bell pepper, onion, and prosciutto with a squeeze of lime and a few good pinches of salt, pepper, and paprika.

enjoy however you'd like!

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-yeh!

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this salsa is shown here on a great new thing: freschetta's new gluten free pizza! it's true, eggboy and i do a lot of jazzing up of frozen crusts or pizzas on friday pizza night because when you live on a farm where no restaurants will deliver, you do that after a long hard day! so we've had our fair share of gluten free crusts and can tell you that this freschetta one nails it. it's chewy and flavorful and truly one of our new favorite gluten free pizzas (you can #trustthecrust!). full disclosure, freschetta has sponsored this post, but (!!!) i'm so happy they did otherwise i don't know how i would have found out about this new gf pizza because i am a hermit and don't spend as much time perusing the new products at the grocery store like i used to. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anywho, this pizza, which is certified gluten free, comes in cheese and pepperoni, in both single serving and large, and it's in stores now!

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bloody mary popsicles

what a silly week it's been. 

every other hour, eggboy comes in dripping with sweat from building the chicken coop, saying it's gonna rain! it's gonna rain! and sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't, sometimes it *really* does and even sets off the tornado alarms. i love a good rain storm but without any buildings around to break the wind or supply camaraderie/beer in the chance that the storms get really awful, it can be quite scary. luckily we have a basement with a comfy couch and i have my stack of cookbooks to keep me company. during the last tornado warning i read the bread exchange's book. do you know about that project? it is very cool.

we got one inch of rain last night in the time it took me to make pesto cucumber noodles and when the sun came out, our internet was nowhere to be seen! he must have gotten sick of me price hunting for the same nike shoes over and over and just left.

so i spent a good amount of time without the internet, getting things done like cleaning and writing and reading the directions on my new silicone mini loaf pan. oh and watching dvds! i'm back to working my way through harry potter and this morning i watched legally blonde while i was on the treadmill. i'm pretty sure i know every line by heart, is this low-viscosity rayon with a half-loop top stitching on the hem?

*classic*

another silly thing about this week, speaking of fabulous fashion-forward colorful divas, is that it's billy's popsicle week!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 

yay! 

this year i have gone the ~savory~ route with a frozen bloody mary that is practically healthy, extra spicy, and gives you just the right amount of buzz to take the edge off of a tornado warning but not so much that you're too wasted to do anything productive when the rain stops. (if you're looking for the latter, don't try adding more vodka or else they won't freeze. just, like, have a few more or chase it with a shot or something.)

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bloody mary popsicles

makes 7 3-oz pops

ingredients

2 c tomato juice
1/2 c vodka
2 cloves garlic, smashed
3/4 tsp celery salt
1/2 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp harissa powder
3/4 tsp worcestershire sauce
a squeeze of lime juice
a few turns of black pepper

clues

Whisk all ingredients together, pour into popsicle molds or 3-oz Dixie cups, freeze for 20 minutes. Insert popsicle sticks and freeze for two more hours. Serve with celery stalks (and/or an extra vodka shot) and enjoy! 

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happy popsicle week, friends! be sure to check out all of the other popsicle week popsicles!

-yeh!

drunken zucchini noodles

greetings from fort worth! i have already lost count of my taco intake and i'm slowly adjusting to/falling in love with the extremely friendly stranger people here. they are so delightful, i even got an unsolicited rhubarb jam recipe from a lady at the market. (it has cherry jell-o in it!) 

a majority of my texas existence has been spent in a dark corner of the stage, wiggling my toe off in the name of vibraphone sustenance, and flipping through genius recipes during my breaks (you are a silly goose if you don't have that book yet). i can't see any of the singers unfortunately, but boy do they sound great.

there's one line in the opera that i could listen to over and over and over, it's towards the end when michael's character, who is starving and cold and searching for food, sings the most beautiful melody with the words:

...maybe there are worms in the backyard... 

the end of the world is near and, oh goodness, the way that michael sings this line gets at my deepest shivers. it's one of the most haunting moments in the piece and i love it with the same intensity that worms gross me out. am i doing a good job of convincing you to come? worms, blood, apocalypse? truly, this opera is a crazy delicious gem and day-long rehearsals do not feel so day-long. 

when i'm not in rehearsal, i'm working with a lot of lovely restrictions that aren't as bad as the apocalypse but still, errm, adjustments. a kitchenette with two hot burners, no oven, and a camera lens that has lost his ability to focus. so! eggboy said it will be like learning to write with my left hand, and so far it's been really quite exciting, in a cutthroat kitchen type of way. i had a morning of steamed stove-top cake research, i bought ingredients for a rhubarb curd crepe cake which i am going to attempt without a whisk, and, ok, i'm going to learn how to take a disposable camera photo. 

halp.

my kitchenette does not have a spiralizer, but my home does, and i miss it very much! it arrived in the mail right before i left, so i quick made all of the noodles that i could and pretended to be ali maffucci. you all have her book, right??? i am so into it, it makes me want to eat so many vegetables, i don't even know myself anymore. these drunken zucchini noodles were one of the first recipes i made out of it, because i miss the drunken noodles at sripraphai and also because "zucchini" was the first large word that i ever learned how to spell and for all of first grade spelling it out loud was my go-to party trick. 

it kind of goes without saying, but these noodles present an excellent solution to the conundrum of wanting to sit on the couch, watch veep, and mindlessly shovel thai takeout into your mouth, but not wanting to feel like poop afterwards. they're delicious!!! 

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drunken zucchini noodles 

from ali maffucci's inspiralized

ingredients

1 tb hoisin sauce

1 tb low-sodium soy sauce

1/2 tb oyster sauce

1 tb thai chili oil

1 tb thai or vietnamese fish sauce

1 tb virgin coconut oil

8 oz ground pork

2 small shallots, minced

1 medium garlic clove, minced

1 red bell pepper, sliced into strips

2 thinly sliced scallions

2 medium zucchini, spiralized with blade a

3 tb chopped fresh thai basil leaves

clues

heat a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. add the hoisin, soy sauce, oyster sauce, chili oil, and fish sauce and heat for about 2 minutes. transfer to a bowl.

add the coconut oil to the skillet and heat until shimmering. add the pork and cook, breaking up with a wooden spoon, for 5 minutes or so, until cooked through and browned. add the shallots and garlic and cook for 2-3 more minutes.

return the sauce mixture to the skillet and add the bell pepper and scallions. cook for 1 minute, stirring frequently. add the zucchini noodles and cook 2-3 more minutes or until the zucchini noodles soften. fold in the basil leaves, taste and adjust sauces if desired.

enjoy!

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-yeh!

pictured: bowls // pan // cutting board // spurtle

chocolate macaroon cake with orange buttercream

i spent some time this week with my old friend, mr. vibraphone! i snuck into the university of north dakota practice rooms, took off my shoes like the good old days, and started regaining my right big toe muscle, the one that ends up doing most of the vibe pedaling. (note to self: get a pedicure.) it was fun and it felt real good that i didn't completely forget everything about this opera that i'm playing in a few weeks and it brought back wonderful memories of when i played it last, at the very beginning of eggboy. oh yeah, i'm going to texas to play an opera in a few weeks!

(do you live in texas? do you enjoy contemporary opera? do you have a babysitter for your kiddos since there is more (fake) blood in this opera than i have ever seen in my entire life? come see me play music in this awesome dark thing! it is amazing!)

other than that, the big news is that from what i've been able to tell in the 1-2 times that i've left the house this week, spring is here! eggboy came in yesterday smelling like he does in the spring and summer, slightly sweaty and kind of dirty. not dirty, like unclean, but dirty like actual dirt on his face that makes him look like a raccoon. i think he's about to put seeds in the ground. i think. 

how kind of spring to show up right in time for passover and easter! i love a springtime holiday. even though it looks like our passover guests are going to be: mr. mumbles the stuffed penguin, mcnugget the stuffed sunny side up egg, ernie, and elijah. maybe elijah will bring a plus one? oh well, more brisket and an automatic afikoman win for me! 

and cake.

*of course*

i made this cake for my friend nina, who is turning 30 this weekend!!! i imagine that a passover birthday can be a little bit like a chrismukkah birthday. presents magically get combined into chrismukkah/birthday presents, birthday cakes on passover magically... don't happen? or are not good? or are actually a macaroon with a candle in it? ok this is kind of that, but a good macaroon. a danny macaroons-inspired macaroon. with a slathering of orange buttercream, because what's that tale about having an orange at your seder? i wanted to make nina a classy tasty cake for a very special birthday, because the person behind egg roll hamantaschen and taco hamantaschen deserves such a thing. and so do you!

happy birthday, nina!!!! 

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chocolate macaroon cake with orange buttercream

makes one 8-inch cake

ingredients

cake:

2 14-oz bags sweetened shredded coconut

1 1/2 c unsweetened cocoa powder

1 tsp kosher salt

4 large egg whites

4 tsp vanilla extract

2 14-oz cans sweetened condensed milk*

frosting:

2 c unsalted butter, softened*

4 c powdered sugar

a pinch of kosher salt

zest of one orange

2 tsp orange juice

assembly:

chocolate shavings

cocoa powder

orange slices

*if you're looking for dairy free/kosher alternatives, here is a recipe for condensed coconut milk and here is a recipe for homemade dairy condensed milk. i have not tested these, but i will let you know if i do! for the frosting, feel free to sub the butter for your preferred vegan butter.

clues

cake:

preheat oven to 350. grease four 8-inch round cake pans and line the bottoms with parchment. (it's ok if you don't have four pans, you can just bake the layers in batches.)

in a large bowl, mix together the coconut, cocoa powder, and salt. in a separate bowl, whisk together the egg whites, vanilla, and condensed milk. add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and stir to combine. spread one fourth of the batter into each cake pan (these will be very thin layers) and bake for about 18 minutes, until they're no longer shiny. let cool for 5-10 minutes in their pans and then turn onto a drying rack to cool fully.

frosting:

beat all frosting ingredients together until smooth.

assembly:

stack up your layers with a thin layer of frosting in between them and then frost the cake all over. decorate with chocolate shavings, cocoa powder, and oranges slices as desired.

enjoy!

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-yeh!

pictured: cake stand // wooden utensils