CHALLAH WAFFLES

wednesdays are great.

on wednesdays at the town bakery, i emerge out of the kitchen and work up front at the counter, serving people cookies and cakes and cinnamon rolls. i like to think that their time at the bakery is a happy part of their day, and it's so fun to be a part of it. 

some people come in every week. some people i even know by name! it's the ultimate small town experience. i am luke and everyone else is lorelei. (minus the smooching part.)

after reading yesterday's kvetching about the state of the union, as well as some other sad things around the internet, i am extra excited to dispense some smiles and sugar today.

and because there is a very good chance that you do not live in my town and therefore cannot come to the bakery for smiles and sugar, here is some via the internet: challah waffles! in my latest piece for molly on the range, i made a liège waffle with challah dough in my vintage mickey mouse waffle iron. they came out so perfectly chewy and sweet that i spent a good few days only eating them. #blob 

holllllla!!

-yeh!

POMEGRANATE YOGURT TART

does it say something bad about my jewiness that until last week i had not one single solitary clue that there exists an entire jewish arbor day? 

tu b'shevat.

it's a birthday for trees. you plant them, you add one to the age of existing ones, and then you eat special thingies! figs, dates, pomegranates, others of the seven species... it begins tonight.

so i made a tart about it inspired by this hot babe of a tart from my darling lemon thyme and it is featured in the first article of my--oh yeah i gotted a column! i gotted a column!

you are officially reading the blog of a columnist for the jew and the carrot and i'm as smitten as a kitten. i never done had a column before! it feels less like carrie bradshaw than i expected it to, but i suppose that's my own fault for wearing flannel and living in a dakota.

twice a month, in molly on the range, i will be sharing some jewy or israeli goodness made right here in rural middle of nowhere thousands of miles from the nearest deli, u.s.a.

ok now go make this tart!

-yeh!

FORTUNE COOKIES

when none of you responded to my open tweet call for help in writing fortunes for my fortune cookies, i got worried. is this going to be more difficult than i think it will be? do the fortune cookie fortune writers actually have a difficult job and should we just give them a break when we get an utterly undecipherable fortune? (like that alliteration?)

it was a difficult task. my first few fortunes were pretty awful and i'm glad that you can't really read them in the photos, thank you low f-stop. 

and then i thought of a formula. it's based around twitter because writing a fortune cookie fortune is a lot like composing a tweet. it has to be quick and to the point, but it differs from twitter in that instead of talking about yourself or the general population, you have to talk about "you." ok here it goes. how to write a fortune cookie fortune::

1. go onto your twitter feed or someone else's twitter feed, and extract a few of the most fantastic tweets. i'm going to gather a mix of tweets from a few of my favorite tweeters:

@conradtao: in my brain, the word "macrobiotic" is always spoken through a vocoder

@contessatura: there are two types of people in the world: people who say they text while peeing and dirty liars

@gmpaiella: Well, there's a dominatrix in my kitchen.

@mattmarks: This crappy sitar patch just MADE this track.

@nattivogel: If it isn't already some racist "Royals"/Hobbit mash-up called "Lorde of the Rings" floating about, I resign from the Internet

2. put these tweets in the second person and in future tense:

in your brain, the word "macrobiotic" will always be spoken through a vocoder

there will be two types of people in the world: people who say they text while peeing and dirty liars

Well, there will be a dominatrix in your kitchen

A crappy sitar patch will MAKE this track.

If it isn't already some racist "Royals"/Hobbit mash-up called "Lorde of the Rings" floating about, you will resign from the Internet

3. alter the words a bit so they're magical and fortune-like:

steer clear of "macrobiotics," for this word will forever in your head be sounded through a vocoder.  

it is time you come clean about your potty texting habits.

beware the dominatrix in your kitchen.

the answer to your frustration lies in the crappy sitar track.

your "Royals"/Hobbit mash-up, "Lorde of the Rings," will go viral and you will achieve more internet fame than two girls one cup. 

---

alright i think i'm going to be speaking in fortune speak for the next 24 hours. 

here you will find my recipe for homemade fortune cookies. you will love them so much more than regular ones. they are chewy and almondy and last week i ate six in a row. (that's a lot of fortune, you know.)

this completes my chinese food posts for a merry jewish christmas! i am off to tend to some red bean paste...

merry christmas eve!!!!

-yeh!

BAKEWELL BARS

and so we returned from our november journey baring artisan jalapeño jams and whiskey pickles, the types of things one rarely finds around here. we watched christmas movies and ate nougats as our train home whizzed past corn fields that got snowier and snowier as we made our way up north.

our little town welcomed us back with inches of snow and christmas lights everywhere. it's basically the north pole up in these parts and i'm just waiting for the day that eggboy can grow a beard so i can put a red hat on him and call him st. nick. (did you know, his real name is nick??)

christmas sweets are on the menu this week (and every week this month), so today i'm bringing you bakewell bars, which i made for my girl betty crocker! they are a hybrid of one of my favorite desserts, the british bakewell tart, and the things that everyone around here seems to be in love with: bars. people here love their bars.

so enjoy these, but don't overdo it because i'm about to kick it into overdrive with the sweets.

-yeh!