a closet 95% vegetarian

yep. that's me. although, i suppose i am not so closeted anymore, and the people whom i eat with most knew this already. we'll call it an experiment, a recovery stage from {restaurant challenge}. though i am enjoying eating vegetables more than ever now, and the tastes of dead that i do eat {the safety 5% carnivore left in me} actually taste better now that it's not like ohmygod let me have twelve shackburgers. i see what vegetarians mean now, when their reaction to any person in a dining group saying, oh no we can't go to [insert name of meat centric restaurant here], there are no options for so-and-so, is becoming wide-eyed, wavey hands oh no no it's ok don't mind me i'll find something, i'm sure! but the group still opts not to go to fette sau or hill country or whatevs. it's with good intentions, absolutely, but i think there are a few others who would i identify when i say, choosing to be vegetarian was like choosing the expensive comfortable bra. it's for myself, to make me feel better, not for social implications or to have attention brought to it or to burden others. but of course when you find someone else with the same one you want to talk about it and wear them together. and about why 5% of me is carnivore: make it for me and i'll eat it, invite me to luger's and i'll go, order pig tails at traif and i'll try them. the meathook rapture dog at smorgasburg? that fell under the category of research. also, schnitzel always will be the exception. k, maybe i'm like 8% carnivore. anyways, when the f did this blog take on this tone? let's learn to make
whole wheat barbecue carrot buns! 
for the buns, use this recipe, the one that has been in my fammy forever, but replace two of the cups of flour with whole wheat flour.
heyyyy hot buns!
while the buns are doing their first rising, make the filling using this recipe from dirty candy. i substituted hoisin for the vegetarian oyster sauce and when the only carrot juice at the trader joe's had mangoes in it, i decided to use water. topped em some with cilantro, served em with sriracha {click on the sriracha link it is hilarious}. and they came out amazingly!!!! they are more kosher than their pig equivalent and you can eat seven billion of them without feeling pooey!! they are really ridiculously delicious. in fact, it's lunch time, ima go eat leftovers.