week 13: doughnut plant

it is 6:30 in the AM.
the sun begins to rise.
our* location: the lower east side

*high school friend stefani, bass player friend kris, kris' friend from alaska/john luther adams, and me

and whoever decided that this chilly weather is acceptable
is a doofus.

the past twelve hours have included:
white pizza, 
washington heights,
j.s. bach with drum set accompaniment {??},
 a former new york attorney general {????????}, 
salsa dancing,
steamed milk with almond {my new favvvvve}

the past twelve twenty-two and a half hours have not included:
save for a few minutes when i accidentally closed my eyes mid almond-milk at the yaffa cafe on st. marks.

it seems natural,
that a donut shop should be sampled at the start of its day.
{because that's just when you're supposed to eat donuts}
and at around 3:30am,
when we happened to be in close proximity to
we made the wise/educated decision
 that it simply would have been pointless to scale the island,
only to have to turn right back around to get there for its 6:30 opening.

so we muscled through the wee morning hours,
 engaging in various appropriate shenanigans, 
and killing time til opening time.

this is real research, people.

 we arrived at 6:23.
danced in the cold. {wanna see my new salsa moves?}

...prob took some pictures we weren't supposed to...
...and then went to town when, 
at 6:30 on the dot,
we were allowed in to
the teensy aqua hole-in-the-wall
that is doughnut plant.
the choices were obvious:

peanut butter and jelly
yeast risen, jelly filled, peanut butter frosting, peanuts
yeast risen, blackberry jam filled, will beat up any other jelly donut
yeast risen, chocolate donut, chocolate glazed
yeast risen, topped with seeds
tres leches
cake, white, filled with white stuff {grow up}, 
i don't know but it was definitely one of the best
cake, chocolate, more chocolate, more chocolate, etc

and we ravaged them,
as if we hadn't just had almost an entire white pizza ,
as if we hadn't just had an entire bagel/schmear schmorgesborg,
as if we hadn't eaten for months. 

it reminded me of the great krispy kreme ravage of '99,
when mum picked me up from the 5th grade with a dozen,
and they were all gone in seconds {blame an epic growth spurt}.

and just when we thought donuts were going to start popping out of our pores,
the donut man gave us a gifty
{i love gifties}

the crème brulée donut.

do you remember this?
{the out-of-this-world crème brulée from artisanal that i had circa early february}

imagine that between the cream,
and the turtle shell,
there is an ooey gooey
"weeeeeeeeeee!!!" the sound of excitement and joy
it was such a diva.
complete with crackly shell, caramelized to perfection,
cream dripping down your arm,
my heavens, it was in a league of its own.

the remains created about one full donut,
that would still put any dunkin donut to shame.
what separated these donuts from others,
was the outrageous abundance of thick glaze
{i watched as gloved donutmen plunged them into huge buckets of ____}
and total moistness in both the yeast and the cake.

disappointing was that,
even though we were the first customers of the day,
the donuts we got had been made at some point way earlier in the night,
and were not hot or at their height of freshness.

can a sista get some hot-nows for neglecting sleep in order to get these thanggggs?

also disappointing was the absence of donut holes.
what will the munchkins eat?

also disappointing was that they only take cash.
but maybe that worked in my/my credit card's/my gut's favor.

rumor on the street is that,
in the holiday season,
they have a marzipan donut,
which i will definitely need to go back for...

but until then,
glorious friends,
i've got 39 more restaurants to try...

and a freaking nap to take.



doughnut plant is on grand street between essex and norfolk in new york's sassy lower east side.
open tuesday-sunday 6:30-6:30
bills and coinz only.