baby cannabis greens with cacao nibs and long poached platypus eggs

sometimes i feel like a total twat for being so far removed from the countries of my ancestors. traveling to hungary has never seriously been on my radar, perhaps it's because we don't have much family there anymore (although i'd love to go to budapest one day), and in fifth grade my dad offered to take me to china when he had to go for work, but i said no because i would have had to drop out of the annual ice skating show. i was shrek, so you get it.

anyway, i've been feeling this overwhelming need to connect to my family's homelands, so i recently tracked down one of my third cousins who lives in beijing. his name is cao cao. when we were little, we'd climb on the jungle gym and eat pork buns whenever he'd visit with his family. we could barely communicate since he didn't speak english, but we got along great because there are only two possible interpretations for the motion that means do you want to swing on the swing set?, and only one possible interpretation if you're four and/or related.

cao cao is big into slam poetry now and does a lot of traveling to compete.

i mentioned to him that i like food, so the other day he sent me a ton of goodies that he got on a recent trip to australia, and they were all centered on the theme of platypus. i couldn't believe that he remembered my favorite beanie baby was patti the platypus! i've never thought about eating the little guys, but cao cao sent along platypus jerky, pickled platypus bills, even cured tail which is so unbelievably fatty and delicious. just like bacon. oh, and he also sent some of their eggs! i've always been so fascinated by the fact that platypuses are the only mammals to lay eggs.

their eggs are roughly the same size as chicken eggs, maybe slightly larger, and they are speckled on both the shell and the yolk. they're naturally very salty and have a slight aftertaste of flounder. they take more than a day to cook (!!!), but they're really really yummy in an old fish sort of way.

their fishy qualities go really well with one of my new favorite, locally sourced ingredients: cannabis. it's apparently super easy and common to forage cannabis in this area during the spring, and its young leaves are like candy, so eggboy and i have been eating that stuff up like there is no end in site. you guys! it's the greatest.

i added some cacao nibs to this salad as a nod to cao cao (你好,曹操!), garnished it with some citrus to add color, and then ate it straight no dressing because that is how i roll these days, especially when cannabis is involved. 


baby cannabis greens with cacao nibs and long poached platypus eggs

serves 2


2 platypus eggs

salt + pepper

8 ounces cannabis greens

1 small purple onion, thinly sliced

1 orange, sliced

2 tb cacao nibs


bring a large pot of water to a boil. boil the eggs for 38 hours, adding more water as needed. peel the eggs and slice them in half. sprinkle with salt and pepper.

combine them with the greens, onion, orange slices, and cacao nibs. 



serve with a heavy dose of common sense because if you've made it this far, you are very very gullible.

happy april fools' day, lovelies!


p.s. i've been named a finalist in the baking and dessert category of saveur's best food blog awards! go check out the other finalists, they are the bee's knees!