cake decorating tips

oh em gee! how many cakes are you making this weekend??? is the answer 12? can it be 12?

i got decorating tips for you today!

how to get smooth edges, how to make an ombré situation, how to write things in frosting, how to stack up all 12 cakes on top of one another, etc., etc. right this way!!!

happy weekend, everyone!

(p.s. is it a farting whale? or an in-love snail? you decide.)

-yeh!

mini ricotta + parmesan cheesecakes

but molly, don't you hate cheesecake?

hated. i hated cheesecake. i used to love it, and then i overdosed on it by way of those little individually wrapped cheesecake bites that were big in the 90s, and then i didn't eat it again until 2010 when jeff forced a bite of ricotta cheesecake on me. it was fluffy and not at all tangy like the cream cheese cheesecakes of my youth. it blew my mind, ohmygod it was so good.

and then what happened?

i went back to hating it because baking cheesecake at the town bakery was a real bitch. it required a lot of steps, a lot of bowls, a lot of patience that i didn't yet have, and it wasn't as fun to decorate as the other cakes. (no offense to the cheesecake at the town bakery, people go gaga over it.)

but this cheesecake requires some patience, no?

it does, kind of. but i understand it now. i understand that in order to avoid cracks in a cheesecake, you need to cool it down gradually. you can't just take it out of the oven and wham-bam flip it onto a cooling rack. you have to caress it out of the oven, gently do this, gently do that, sing it a song, and then let it chill. but (!!) because these cheesecakes are miniature, all of that cooling down business is sped up, and if you want to eat one before the whole process has completed, you can and no one will notice because it's not like you have to take a slice out of one big cake. also (!!!!!!!) only one bowl is required. one!

why now? 

shavuot is coming! and on shavuot, we eat dairy.

why is this cheesecake different from all the other cheesecakes?

i follow this stranger on social media who recently made a mention of a *parmesan* cheesecake that he had in barcelona and it was so umami-y and good. that inspired me to add parmesan to my long-time-coming foray into ricotta cheesecake. i don't remember the stranger's name or his handle. (if you're reading this, barcelona cheesecake man, thank you!!) additionally, correct me if i'm wrong, but i don't think that authentic italian ricotta cheesecakes normally have a crust. but crust! it's my favorite part. so i added one, and it takes up almost a third of the entire cake, a ratio that i am ok with. 

describe this cheesecake in 19 words.

fluffy, creamy, light, slightly sweet, cute, a good beginner's cheesecake, lemony, polite, and with a subtle aftertaste of parmesan. 

thank you.

thank you!

---

mini ricotta + parmesan cheesecakes

makes 22 cheesecakes

ingredients

crust:

18 large rectangles (that is, 36 squares, or 2 full  pouches, or just under 10 oz) of graham crackers

a good pinch of kosher salt

10 tb unsalted butter, melted

filling:

1/4 c flour

1 c sugar

1 tsp kosher salt

1/2 c shredded parmesan

30 oz whole milk ricotta

zest of one lemon

juice of 1/2 lemon (or of a whole lemon, if you like it extra lemony)

2 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 tsp almond extract

4 large eggs

assembly:

1 c jam

clues

preheat oven to 375 f. line 22 cupcake tins with paper liners, grease them, and set them aside.

crust:

in a food processor, process the living daylights out of your graham crackers. add the salt and process a little more. we want a nice fine crumb. with the processor running, drizzle in the melted butter and process for a few seconds until the mixture clumps together. spoon the mixture into your cupcake tins (roughly two tablespoons of the mixture per tin) and then use a glass or spoon to press it down firmly and evenly. if the mixture is sticking to your glass or spoon, spray it with a little cooking spray. 

set the cupcake tins in the fridge while you make the filling.

filling:

to make the filling, you're gonna use your food processor again. don't worry about cleaning it out, it just has butter and graham cracker residue in it and that is ok.

add the flour, sugar, salt, and parmesan, and pulse it a few times to combine everything and break up the parmesan. add the ricotta, lemon zest, lemon juice, and extracts, and process it until smooth. two minutes-ish.

with the processor running, add the eggs one at a time, processing a bit after each one.

spoon the mixture into your cupcake tins. it can come up pretty high, up to about 1/4-inch from the top of the tin. bake for 20 minutes, until the outer edges are set but the centers are still a little jiggly. turn the oven off, open it about halfway, and let them be for about 45 minutes. remove them from the oven and let them cool completely at room temperature. chill them for an hour or two, or overnight. 

spoon on your jam.

enjoy!

these will keep in the fridge for up to a week.

---

-yeh!

a little tractor adventure

well, it was a big tractor, but a little adventure.

the tractor needed a new part, so eggboy had to drive it to the fix-it man.

junior cat was not allowed to come.

but i was! here is the view from the buddy seat as we drove down the highway and stopped traffic. tractors don't go very fast! eggboy was focused on not hitting any bunnies but he still smiled for my rearview mirror picture. what a guy.

(no cars ahead of us, they are all stuck behind us.)

we even drove across the bridge to north dakota.

past my favorite sign... 

and my other favorite sign... (look, the grain mill in the background!)

and then we arrived at the tractor fix-it place on the edge of town, where a row of combines welcomed us with glee.

eggdad picked us up in his pickup and gave us popcorn because you can get free popcorn at a lot of the farm shops in town. it was salty and tasty and perfect with eggboy's hat sweat. 

the end!

-yeh!

chocolate chili splatter paint cake

a list of things that inspired this cake, which features chocolate and cayenne in a house made of tequila frosting and a splatter painted roof:

1. a few months ago, i found myself sleeping under a very large, very spectacular splatter painted portrait of beethoven when it became clear that a splatter painted cake would be extremely fun to make. i'm trying to expand my cake decorating repertoire past farting whales and sprinkles and i'm really happy with my progress. 

2. last week at the honky tonk*, my new friend ashley bought me a tequila shot with the one requirement that instead of putting salt on my hand, i use tabasco sauce. brilliant! have you ever done that?? it's so good. it makes me want to do more tequila shots. everyone around me should be afraid right now. (there's no one around me.)

*a sentence i never thought i'd say, but i'm really happy i did.

3. jeni's queen city cayenne ice cream. ooh, girl, it's addictive, in a little bit of a masochistic way because it is very hot. the coldest hot you'll ever get, unless you've rigged up a frozen bloody mary. and you can't stop eating it though because chocolate and ice cream and that very unusual sensation of a very cold hot.

4. it's cinco de mayo! i never done celebrated cinco de mayo before.

5. it's also my friend jean's birthday! and jean comes from a family of great margarita makers. their margaritas are famous in north dakota and canada and montana. happy birthday, jean!!!!! 

so, ok, are we on the same page about how this cake tastes? it is basically a nice soft chocolate cake that gives you a nice little kick at the end of your bite. the cayenne here adds more of a feeling than a flavor. an extra special something. a special something for a special day. 

and then there's tequila, which i put as optional because i know how people can get with tequila. but if you're going to be buying tequila for cinco de mayo anyway, you might find it in you to spare a few splashes for this frosting. 

---

chocolate chili splatter paint cake

makes one 2-layer 8-inch cake

ingredients

cake:

1 3/4 c sugar

1 3/4 c all-purpose flour

3/4 c unsweetened cocoa powder

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1 1/2 tsp baking soda

1 1/2 tsp kosher salt

1 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

2 large eggs

1/2 c flavorless oil, like canola

1 c whole milk

4 tsp vanilla extract

3/4 c boiling water

frosting:

2 sticks unsalted butter, softened

4 c powdered sugar

1 tsp vanilla

a good pinch of salt

2 tb tequila or milk or heavy cream

splatter paint:

gel or liquid food coloring

for each color: 1 tb liquid (water, booze, milk) + 1/2 c powdered sugar

clues

cake: 

preheat oven to 350.

grease two 8-inch round cake pans and line the bottoms with parchment.

in a large bowl, whisk together all the dry ingredients. in a medium bowl, whisk together all the wet ingredients except for the boiling water. whisk the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and then stir in the boiling water. pour into cake pans and bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. begin checking for doneness at 28 minutes.

let cool in the pans for 10 minutes, and then turn the cakes onto a lightly greased cooling rack.

frosting:

use an electric mixer to beat together all of the ingredients.

splatter paint:

for each color, mix together a few drops of food coloring with 1 tb liquid and 1/2 c powdered sugar in a small bowl. 

assembly:

once your cakes are fully cooled, level them. place one layer on a cake board, spread a thick layer of frosting on top, and then place the other layer on top of that. use an offset spatula to frost the cake smoothly all over. freeze the cake for about 10 minutes, to firm up the frosting. use a spoon or fork to drizzle your splatter paint all over the cake.

enjoy!

---

-yeh!