pi day is for jewish mothers and mathletes-in-past-lives to expose themselves shamelessly over {in descending order from favorite to least favorite}:

a) homemade (better than the real thing) momofuku crack pie
c) eggpie (or, quiche)
e) gluten-free/sugar-free/eggboy-friendly sweet potato pie

ad-lib talk of ponies, percussions, and many other things brought to us by the letter "p."



march is not a real month until shamrock shakes have been achieved. {once mum and i demonstrated this with a bunch of selfies taken in the parking lot of an illinois mcdonald's.} so when eggboy asked "what is a shamrock shake?" i got all startled because i really just don't think it's ok to not have ever had a shamrock shake. i was also confused because he has all these fond memories of going to mcdonald's when he was little... but i do remember hearing somewhere that not all mcdonald's sell shamrock shakes. which is so dumb. anyway, this morning we walked in the rain to three stores before we found just the right ice cream {soy ice cream sweetened with fruit because eggboy fears processed sugar} and then while he strum strum strummed away at his guitar, i ferociously recalled the chapter in my photography book on not sucking at taking pictures of ice cream. and the shakes were wonderful! eggboy-friendly {free of dairy and tons of processed sugar} and human-friendly {no icky artificial mint or green coloring} and they are like a splagillion times better than the ones from mcdonald's. i'm not just saying that-- the fresh mint is completely something else.

so go blend up milk, ice cream, and mint, and have yourself a very merry st. patrick's day.


fighting off the #januaries

no amounts of coffee can cure the #januaries.
no amounts of mustard can cure the #januaries.
no amounts of botched hole-in-the-middles can cure the #januaries.
even mia, at 6 years old, fears the #januaries.

if we examine why january sucks so much, it shouldn't be that difficult {in theory} to combat this mega-awful month that is worse than all of the mondays in the world combined. it's simple: we just need some really awesome made-up holidays. if your birthday is in january, you don't count, go away, everyone is jealous. but for the other approximately eleven twelfths of us, here are some ideas to combat the #januaries:

national at least i meant to shower day
national eat overcooked ramen and dunkaroos in your bathtub day
national pick your nose but not in public because that's still gross day
national buy the prettiest smelling lotion day, actually this should come before national at least i meant to shower day so you have a cover up, you know?
national entenmann's and nacho cheese and what is a vegetable day
national look at this website day: http://www.streetartutopia.com/?p=10554
national write a letter to someone you idolized in fifth grade day
national watch all of the heath ledger movies day

ok i've expended too much energy just thinking of these and am ready to go back to bed. until february. 


sweets scenes and sister stoop on a snowy christmas

on christmas eve day, stoopie and i executed a four-course sweet tasting for santy claus. {santy claus, benji, santy claus! so goes my all-time favorite/only favorite faulkner quote.} it began with an amuse-bouche of almond-pistachio nougat and then launched into almond + cinnamon + meringue biscuits in anticipation of what if santa is gluten free? marzipan oreos came next. meaning, i just threw a bunch of marzipan and almond extract into the mixer as i was making the filling. they are at least seven times better than the candy cane joe joe's i stole from roommate megan. the champion of the tasting, however, was a little coconut layer cake that stoopie made and that we covered with tiffany's-colored marzipan and marzipan evergreen trees. {consider it practice for when i find myself making stoopie's wedding cake next year.}

it completely paid off. i think i'm santa's favorite. he brought me a hello kitty rice maker. it's exactly what my kitchen needs. i hope it speaks japanese to me as it cooks me fluffy rice in the shape of kitty cats.