juilliard in june

i spent the past week in iowa with an amazing handful of my former schoolmates, rehearsing and performing the annual juilliard in june program {organized by michael}. it was a fantastic and beautiful week of new pieces, romping around rural parts, and sitting in plush chairs and drinking whiskey as the others serenaded me with schubert. 

most nights ended in lying on the grass, staring up at the stars.

lovely is an understatement. it was an entire week of holy-moly-i-do-this-for-a-living? topped with mayonnaise and tacos {but more on this later}.


eight ways of looking at a birthday month

1. this month i will turn 23. it will not be my golden birthday, like it was last year. it will not celebrate the first time that i can drink legally, like it was two years ago. no. this month, i will turn michael jordan's chicago bulls number. and i couldn't be more comfortable about being rather tall.
2. this month will be my last living on the upper west side. does moving out of the neighborhood of one's school signify something about becoming a grown-up? let's pretend. and let's pretend for a moment that next year i will actually stick to my plan of biking into manhattan from brooklyn every day. what a good butt i will have. also, i hope that in my new neighborhood i can recreate this comfortable feeling that i get in my current neighborhood that comes from seeing my regular taco truck, my regular corner donut man, churro woman, my regular neighbor evan. 
3. jesca hoop is who i've been listening to this morning. she opened for punch brothers. it took me many minutes on google to realize that she is "jesca" and not "jessica," but it was worth it, and in another life i would want to be similar to her.
4. my eating habits have spun out of control. a rob coffee date turns into a rob short rib sandwich date, i nonchalantly had fried green tomatoes during the middle set at dizzy's last night. i haven't been to the grocery store in weeks. in april, this worried me. but now it's my birthday month so i can eat whatever i want, correct?
5. lol @ "birthday week" expanding to "birthday month." life is simply too short for your birthday to just be a week. 
6. my body has seen a ridiculous amount of hives in the past week. mum thinks i've tout à coup developed an allergy to something that i'm exposed to regularly. could you imagine if it was an allergy to sugar? or lemons? unfortunately, it's definitely not vegetables since i haven't had them on a regular basis in many days. maybe it's my penguin, or may, or shampoo.
7. the david little opera dog days is something that i can't stop thinking about. it is one of the most ferocious pieces of music that i've ever heard. the story, the lyrics, the use of vibrator on brake drum: it is brilliant. and though i love this month, performing in september's premiere is something that i am very much looking forward to.
8. high-waisted jeans, yo.

bye bye, broken heart.

suddenly i have time to sit on my bed and stare into space
and think of nothing or anything. i can move slowly and paint
my nails and hang up my clothes... the answer to
do you want a second drink at dinner is yes.
it is the most fantastic feeling in the world,
it is also very lonely.
no longer will i spend every evening with the people that have been my family for the past few months... 
no more playing hours of waterphone every day,
no more enjoying all of the yummy sweets that materialize in the green room for the taking,
no more birdie chimes :-(
i's so sad. ima make dark chocolate lavender macarons.

these days

i've been riding the molly mobile!
and have been getting asked many times a day where i got my bag.
{i got it at jula, in the east village}
justin has been eating carrots and listening to extra weird music.
and we've been having yummy midday picnics.
i've been snacking on homemade cheez-its.
which, in fact, are old-chatham-camembert-its.
the muscles in my waterphone-holding arm are growing growing. 
and this smoothie has been keeping me alive:
greek yogurt + blueberries + strawberries + peanut butter +
a splash of amaretto + a few cubes of mum's lemon cake.