the day i overdosed on food.

if i made a list of everything that i ate today, you would be shocked. i would be grossed out. the world would explode.
so take cover because i'm going to do just that...
the following was eaten between the hours of noon and 5pm today, at the new york city wine and food festival: 
a tongue slider, a bacon cheeseburger, tater tots filled with bacon, a bacon egg roll, vanilla ice cream with wasabi dust, a sprinkle cookie, two ham and cheese crepes, a lamb sandwich, a lamb taco, a korean taco, another taco, bone marrow and oxtail marmalade on brioche, vanilla mousse, a chocolate caramel cupcake, tater salad, a super spicy kati roll, pork on rice, lamb and figs on couscous, a fluffer nutter cookie sandwich, a falafel wrap, a blondie, a mexican chocolate brownie, a peanut butter and jelly cookie sandwich, about six other unidentified sandwiches...
and to wash it all down i had egg creams, vodka, cherry vodka, wine, smart water, and milk shakes. 
stuffed is an understatement. 
pop my belly with that tooth pick of yours and watch midtown get rained on by tacos.
it was disneyland. 
disneyland times trader joe's plus the barney's warehouse sale divided by kenmare's new york times rating. 
disneyland with booze and pat lafrieda things...
populated by andrew zimmern, ming tsai, an anderson twin, chef spike, jeffrey chodorow,
the super hunk that is tyler florence...
schnitzel friends, the midtown lunch man...
and the most wonderful girl behind this amazing blog {all the way from miami!!}
so. don't mind me, i'll be at the salad bar for the next month... 
but it's ok because it was worth every stretch mark!



ok, the vendys.

 you know that question that people always ask you...
if you were trapped on a desert island and could only have three food trucks with you, 
which three would you bring??
the vendys are the real life version of that. but you don't have to choose just three.
because, essentially, what you do is you chill on gov'ner's island all day, and you float around to about twenty of the best food trucks from the city {and philly} 
and in between trucks, you blaze drink large amounts of riesling. 
and you bask in the sun. and you make new friends. and you avoid the port-o-potties like the devil.
this is the schnitzel truck crew!!!!!!!! and a hairy chest.
and check out these schnitz burger balls!! they're the dead version of those cake balls i been seeing errywhere. and they were all gobbled up before i got one :-( :-( :-( :-(
and look! i got to serve tater salad and cucumber salad to happy and hungry people. 
and later, it was "chickpeas? beets? feta on those beets? i think you need feta on those beets."
i finally got a chance to try the big gay ice cream truck!!
i had a little sample of vanilla soft serve with curry coconut and ginger syrup. it was so good.
other things i consumed were:
a ginger mint slushie from the kelvin slushie bro-mobile {mmmmmm}
taiwanese-style potsticka {mmmmmmmm}
a venezuelan sandwich on grilled plantains {mmmmm, i know, plantains, but still mmmm}
dragon's beard candy {what on earth? MMMMMMMM}
weenie-shaped falafel from the falafel king {hmmmmm}
and chai masala guerilla ice cream {hmmmmmm. ok. mm}
at the end there were awards given out. which i didn't really pay attention to. well, i did, but i got sad about them and invented my own:
the molly cup award
the schnitzel truck!
the badass awesome award
the schnitzel truck!
the-omg-your-fried-meat-is-so-good-especially-with-extra-mustard-and-extra-lemon-and-tater-salad-mmmmmmm-tater-salad award
the schnitzel truck!

it was a clean sweep, for sure.
it was also the best day ever.
nothing beats a day on an island with food trucks.



for further reading on the vendys...
grab a tissue and read my new awesome friend mister culver lake's post about it
or read my new awesome photographer friend donny's minute-by-minute account!

all pictures on this post are copyrighted by donny tsang. he is a badass food photographer. teach me, donny!

schnitzel month days 9, 10, and 11

in the words of the schnitzel father:

yesterday i took a sample bite of a schnitzel burger @schnitzel and things it was awesome and i kinda felt like i was cheating on schnitzel but not i have a schnitzdentity crisis

and really,
that's how it feels.
it was like i was in a tangent universe
because the ciabatta and the mustard are the same...
and the meat is fried
but instead of the usual paper thin chickens
it's big and honkin and grouuuuund.

i was afraid that if i ate the whole thing i wouldn't survive my forthcoming trip to the natural history museum. so i ate half the patty, and downed the bun. 
is that weird?
i'm just so obsessed with this darn ciabatta.
i'm never going to be able to have other ciabatta.

and since we're playing the rhyme game
{wait, no we're not}
i also had panna cotta
{panna cotta, ciabatta, panna cotta, ciabatta}
this was my first panna cotta!! ever!!
and certainly not to be my last because this stuff was not too sweet and
 sooooooooo goooooood.
i'm going to pretend like it's healthy, too.



p.s. oh and in case you're wondering what happened to the other two days,
their beauty shots got lost because in a freak runway accident.
{no really, my baby camera was stolen out of my checked bag at jfk wtf}

on one of the days i had
a brat with beets
and it was fine. the beets didn't really add or detract from the taste. the only thing they added was a hot pink hue all over the bread.

and on the other day i had
chicken schnitzel with chipotle sour cream
tater salad
chickpea salad
and the chipotle sour cream blew my mind. like i gotta have more of this stuff. but i kept having to tell myself, "molly, you cannot die."
the tater salad was good as usual {so what if i dipped it in the sour cream?}
and the chickpea salad was as good as a chickpea salad can be, but let's face it, do you people really enjoy the texture of chickpeas? i mean, isn't that why they invented hummus?
...oh no.
i just realized that on my stolen camera there was a really cute picture of my chicken schnitzel with a face:
mustard for the eyes,
a lemon wedge for the mouth.
crap it was so cute.
i'll just have to make another.

interview: oleg voss {the schnitzel man}

oleg voss is the genius behind 
the schnitzel & things truck
 {aka the reason that i have had the most tasty lunches ever this month!}

and like a true food truck dude,
oleg is so cool!

he even let me interview him!
m: have you ever dressed up as a schnitzel for halloween? 
o: i have never personally dressed up as a schnitzel for halloween. but you know what? my mom sews some mean articles of clothing! i'll have to tell her to sew together some material into a circular shape, and i'll finish up the rest.  gonna have to put the whole thing in glue and dive in a pool of bread crumbs.

 if you were a schnitzel, which condiment would you want to be slathered in?
lol, if i were a schnitzel, i'd totally want to jump in an ocean of our sriracha mayo.

 are you tired of schnitzel?
me tired of schnitzel?? how can i tire of of fried deliciousness?? only thing i'm tired of is pounding hundreds and hundreds of various cutlets of meat on a daily basis.  this one process, done 5 days a week for a year straight can make you have some serious nightmares of huge mallets coming after you.  i've had multiple dreams where two giant mallets chase me and eventually beat the crap out of me.  and when i say beat the crap out of me, i mean they put me in between two pieces of saran wrap and proceed to "tenderize" my entire body into a nice thin round shape.  this question is tricky.  i'm not tired of eating the schnitzified goodness, because once i tire of chicken, i switch to the pork, or the cod, and on special occasions, i indulge in the real official wiener schnitzel.

 do you ever think about taking the schnitzel truck for a road trip to spread the love? where would you go? 
i DO think about taking the schnitz mobile on road trips.  sadly, i don't think the truck would safely make it past delaware.  if the truck ever got stuck in delaware, i think i would just cry.  no offense to delaware, but i don't remember any recommendations to vacation there.  i'd actually love to take the truck to L.A. where there are tons of food trucks but no schnitz.  that place needs schnitzification badly... among other things. we would do some serious slinging up in thur!

 if you could serve your schnitzel to anybody in the world, who would it be? 
depeche mode.  DM FOREVER!!!! martin, dave, and fletch are idols of mine! i bet their shows would be even better with full stomachs of schnitz!

 where do you go for schnitzel if you want to sit down and be waited on?  
i go to thomas beisl right across the street from BAM in brooklyn, which coincidentally is 2 blocks from where i live.  the place reminds me of my suit and tie days spent in similar beisl's in vienna.

 who's your coolest customer????   
you know who our coolest customer is! as soon as i saw you tweet "let it be known, i am a gangster" you automatically jumped to #1 on the list.  plus your love for the schnitz is incomparable..  actually, the second coolest customer(s) are these bunch of guys who call themselves "the schnitzel fathers" and they started to send me messages through this shmuppet... pure hilarity.  then they started the talking schnitzel hahahah, how can you not love these dudes???  makes me laugh every time.   

let it be known, THIS man is a gangster!!
if you haven't taken a trip to the schnitzel truck yet, you are a dufus.

stay tuned for the next installment of schnitzel month updates
{be prepared, it involves a schnitzburger}